New normal

During the first couple of days after my diagnosis, I had a conversation with my friend Mary. She said something that made me sort of sad at first, but it made me think. "I know you're going to just want everything to hurry up and go back to normal, but it probably will never be exactly the same. You'll have a new normal." (paraphrasing, of course) I chose to use this phrase "new normal" in my blog's title, because it is a good way of encompassing a variety of thoughts and feelings. Here are a few examples:

Last night, Trevor and I went out to dinner. My friend works at the restaraunt we were at and she happened to mention to our server that I was recently diagnosed w/ breast cancer. No problem at all, it's no secret. So our server came over with an ultra-sad face and told me how sorry she was, and told me about her grandma who had breast cancer like 3 years ago. But, she's up and walking now finally, she said! People want to empathize, but all they've got is grandma's story. New normal.

A couple of days ago, some friends and I met to organize the coop preschool we're doing for our kiddos this fall. Everyone had to shuffle dates around and be completely flexible to accomodate my chemo and upcoming surgeries. They all said they were happy to do whatever they needed to make it easy for me, but I felt like a chump being the one with all the special circumstances! New normal.

Last night, while Trevor and I had our date night, Mom, Dad, Susan and Cavin came over to watch the kids and actually deep cleaned the house! I'm talkin' bathrooms, refrigerator, vacumming stairs, kitchen... It felt so good to be taken care of that way, but I felt so guilty about it. New normal. (not having them clean my house all the time, but just getting used to being the object of other's service for a while)

It's not all bad, just new and different, and we're adjusting. Now I'm going to go get the girls up and feed them breakfast. I'm thinkin' waffles today. Old normal. :)